Part 2 - Extracts from the book I'll never write

The cold breeze kissed my cheeks and I realise as I stood alone  at the border of my reality  telling myself that letting go is really easy but when you decide and console yourself that let it be. Time starts slowing down in between those frantic heartbeats , it's hard , it's hard to tell yourself that maybe you're giving up or maybe you were selling yourself the idea that things would be better if it was done the other way and all the while losing yourself , not in a battle but in a labyrinth you cannot understand. I look at the clouds gathering above in the sky , turning the blissful blooming sky into a distorted imperfections of dark grey heavy inky clouds. It's okay.  The wind begins howling across the streets , echoing melancholy symphony from my heartstrings , it's okay. The tear drop hits the ground first and then the rain. I step outside the accustomed shelter into the storm. Then I realise it's actually okay to give up once in a while. As I let the cold precipitation curl down my back, trying to keep my eyes open to see where I'm walking , occasionally guided by the lightning . All the pigments of artificial expectations shedding from my bare self and dripping down my chin. A strange energy begins to exhilarate me and I'm mad with joy , the thunder in response replicates my emotions . Still walking down the stormy night my neat dress  hugging my skin .  I shed everything  and now I'm free  from the fear of expectations , because it matters that no one came chasing after me in the storm.